See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

pancakesbejealouswaffles:

penfairy:

penfairy:

I never should’ve taught my parrot how to laugh it’s given him far too much power

do you know how embarrassing it is to have a pet that can laugh at you? I dropped my ice cream and wailed in despair and my parrot zoomed out of nowhere JUST so he could stand on the couch and laugh at me. I’m being called a dumb bitch in my own home by my OWN SON.

@keyhollow

fadagaski:

tardisman14:

1. And the Lord spake, saying, First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin.
   
2. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
   
3. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three.
   
4. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
   
5. Five is right out.
   
6. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuf it.
   

Originally posted by welcometoyouredoom

whitewashedhanzo:

genji with zenyatta: I have achieved a higher humanity, Master. And it is all thanks to your love and guidance.

genji with mercy: I am a different man now. I am whole.

genji with mccree: (drunk) s hoot me wiht your stupdi fucking gun you pussy BITCH i want to seee if i can defelct it and nnot die